What should be the simple pleasure of getting to know another human being can sometimes buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations and the baggage of previous relationships. Here are some tips to consider when dating:

When you’re going out with someone plan your date carefully. Look for something creative and make sure it allows you to interact. It will help if the activity relates to a shared interest, such as art or music. Doing something you enjoy takes the pressure off. Be light and humorous. Lots of laughing always makes for a great date so don’t take yourself too seriously.

Be yourself. People sometimes try too hard to impress. If they just relax a little, the date will go better and they will not have to worry about any of those little embellishments backfiring later on. The worst thing people do on first dates is lie. They are trying to improve their status so you will be interested in them.

Do not give up. But if things do not go well be prepared. Take your cell phone along on the date. A discreet call to a friend can help you engineer an early end to the date gone wrong.

There is a difference between first dates and the first face-to-face contact with someone you connect with through a dating service or ad. That is a meeting to assess each other, not a date.

If you are comfortable and seem to be compatible set up a date to spend more time together. Remember that the first date is supposed to be fun. You are getting to know this person and he is getting to know you. It should not be something that feels like a meeting with your boss.

If the date turns out to be a dud do not make any promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if you feel no interest in further socializing. Be honest and say you feel there is not a basis for anything other than friendship and let your date take it from there. Pick yourself up and move on.

Finally, give your date a chance. Don’t be too quick to give up on someone if they don’t look like what you expected. Take the time to listen and look for their special qualities. You could be surprised.